Charlie Weasley's Journal!

11:27pm: conversation recorded by the Magisecure system in the lingerie department at *truth clothing shop
*doubtfully*

I'm not sure that I've ever seen her in this exact shade of pink, though ...

10:36pm: Conversation at Lake Cottage
Hello! So kind of you to invite me!

10:16pm: in Elle Holloway and Charlie Weasley's flat
A growler of pumpkin-flavoured ale? Muggle ale? Really?

3:27am: jobberknoll post, Elle Holloway
Dear Elle

I hope the alarm didn't wake you, I had set it to go off if anything happened with those Fire Lizard eggs but nothing was meant to happen until December or thereabouts when the shells all should have turned bronze at the same time then they go on being bronze for seven years until they turn to ash and then you have your clutch of Fire Lizards, but perhaps you don't need to know that right now but two of them changed from bamboo quite suddenly in the middle of the night prematurely, it was very odd. I wonder if it has anything to do with the virus? Perhaps I'd better get into the Floo with those people at St. Mungos. Or perhaps a little breakfast first, I could murder a scone. Or is it time for lunch already?

love

your Charlie

7:33pm: Magi-secure camera recording transcript, Office of the Chief Curator for Dragons, London Magical Zoo
Oh, hello, what a nice surprise to see you here -

9:38pm: conversation outside the gate of the New Dragon Quarantine Enclosure Area at the London Magical Zoo
No, no, he'll be glad of some company, he gets quite bored by himself out here, the poor little lamb -

8:41pm: Memorandum distributed to Var S A12 Research Group, St Mungos Hospital and London Magical Zoo
Date: 30 August 2011

From: Healer Clemenza Greene-Summerlane, Head of Department, Infectious Maladies

To: Clerk Arnica Blumberg, Infectious Maladies

CC: Assistant Healer Gregorio Lasnosky; Curator Charlie Weasley, LMZ; Healer Miles Van Strop, IM; Healer Casanovia Cribbens, IM

Re: Magical Human Subjects Research Ethics Permission and Disclosure Form

This is to remind you all that we cannot even begin the data-collection phase of this research until all magical human subjects involved have given their written permission (see attached copy of relevant form.) Of special importance is the form for the one infected subject who remains under the age at which she could offer informed consent; Imogen Narcissa Vivien Potter's consent form must be countersigned by at least one parent.

Healer Lasnosky will take responsibility for collecting all these forms and Clerk Blumberg will store them safely in the office warded file room.

Thank you for your attention to this important matter.

9:31pm: Jobberknoll post, Arthur and Molly Weasley, the Burrow
Dear Mum and Dad,

I think everyone is coming for Sunday dinner Sunday next, or most of us anyhow, or supper on Saturday if that would suit you better, and Ron is bringing Lily and perhaps also her brother Scorpius and her sister Immy, you always did say that a child of Harry's would be your grandchildren too, you know you did. And Lily's been asking about you, she misses you both I'm sure. I don't know if Harry is coming as well, I'll ask him. But I thought you would be pleased to have so many of the family there all at once and it isn't even a holiday. Elle says to say that we'll help with the food if you like.

love,
your son,
Charlie

p.s. Ron did mention that you might not know yet about Lily's illness. condition. ailment. the thing that happened to Lily and her sister and brother. It was an accident but it was my fault but it was an accident. The kneazle I brought her from America turned out to be carrying a mostly harmless illness which she accidently passed on to the family at Lake Cottage and some of their visitors which temporarily made the children into teenagers and also made Headmaster Dumbledore into a teenager. But we are almost sure that it will wear off soon. It was an accident and I didn't know that So Lily is a teenager now for a little while. Ron says she looks very much like her mum.

10:34pm: quick-quill transcript of the Magisecure System at Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes Shop, Diagon Alley
*pounding on door*

Oi! Fred! George! We know you're upstairs! Let us in! We brought a bottle!

3:08pm: note propped up against a plate of warm scones on the kitchen table
Dear Elle,

I'm very sorry about the shouting this morning. It's just - I mean I like your Dad fine, you know I do, but I didn't ever mean to wake up next to him. Anyway it It was clever of you to remember what day it was. The good thing is, I seem to have learnt Mum's scone recipe and her good stay-warm spell for pastries. So I thought I'd best put them to use in case I lose them at midnight. I'm going to go feed the dragons now and then I'm going to the store to shout at George and Fred, for all the good that will do.

love your Charlie

10:09pm: conversation behind the Kneazle Pit, London Magical Zoo
See that one there, Lily? With the ginger stripes? He's a bit shy, but he's friendly.

12:31pm: Jobberknoll interoffice memo to Mme. Fishbein, Director, London Magical Zoo
date: 8 October 2010
from: Charlie Weasley, head curator for equinoids and dragons
re: unusual sentience

Dear Mme. Fishbein,

I don't know why this happened.  I mean, yes, probably it was my brothers, they do that kind of thing, but I don't know for sure.  It is interesting that the woolen objects are not exhibiting sheep-like behaviors, I agree. There probably is an article there but I'd prefer to keep revising this one about the flocking behaviors of Lesser Norwegian Greens for Fewmets Quarterly.

Maybe we should wait a while to see if the scarves retain their sentience?  Although it would be interesting if they didn't, too, I suppose.

Yours respectfully
Charlie Weasley

10:25am: Jobberknoll post to George and Fred Weasley
Look you, it's not necessarily kind to make sentient creatures out of insentient things, if you think about it from the creatures'
point of view. 

Dear Fred and George,

First thing this morning we found my school scarf and Elle's school scarf in the closet trying to strangle each other - at least it looked like that was what they were doing - and by the time we'd got through breakfast and coffee they were doing something that seemed an awful lot like reproductive behavior in larger snakes, and now I'll have to spend weeks tracking down all these wooly scarves and making sure that nobody's done anything to them and they're safe, and - it was funny with the luggage, I grant you, but now you're just repeating yourselves and I wish you would stop.

Your brother,
Charlie

6:36pm: crumpled, smoothed-out parchment left on Elle Holloway's kitchen table
Article that Gilderoy Lockhart NOT ME. HIM is submitting to Witch Weekly

Giant Flying Bison are rare animals from Nepal. mostly. And Tibet, a little bit, but mostly Nepal, and

I am Gildreoy Gilderoy Lockhart, and I am a little odd perhaps but I have my heart in the right place, and

Witch Weekly readers need to know that it is completely unnecessary to use Giant Flying Bison hooves in any magical potion or preparation whatsoever I am pretty sure because more common plant-based ingredients substitute for them perfectly well as long as they are gathered at the right time of year - mid-Spring, generally. I thought everyone knew this from Herbology class, didn't they? That's why making the substitute potions ingredient used to be a part of Hogwarts' potions curriculum. It's hard to muck up not difficult to make, and it used to be that the potions storeroom at Hogwarts had enough to last for years and years - it's only used in some very weird rare potions.

So why is SOMEONE at Hogwarts trying to buy Giant Flying Bison hooves all of a sudden? This is not only a waste of the work that students have already done, but even worse, IT KILLS ANIMALS! And it




ELLE - this is coming out all wrong - I'm going down to the local to see if that helps. Find me there?

9:57pm: Overheard at The Three-Legged Mare, London
So if its name is the Wonky Donkey, why does it say Three-Legged Mare on the sign?

2:27pm: interoffice jobberknoll memo, London Magical Zoo
Date: 5 September 2010

To: Mme. Fishbein, Director, London Magical Zoo

From: Charlie Weasley, Curator for Equinoids and Dragons

Re: Your query re powdered Giant Flying Bison hoof

As you requested, this memorandum is to confirm formally what we already discussed on Friday. oo policy forbids us to harvest any animal product, whether from creatures within our charge or not, if such a harvest might harm the creatures which produced the product. As the usefulness of Flying Bison hooves as a potions ingredient requires that they be taken from the living animal, there is no way to harvest them without harming the Giant Flying Bison. While it is true that Giant Flying Bison have six legs, and therefore six hooves, they still need all their hooves on all their legs to remain in good health. Therefore the Zoo is unable to meet this emergency request from Hogwarts.

I remember from my Herbology NEWT that a combination of powdered Alpine Purple Mugwort gathered in the first full moon after the spring equinox, combined with ordinary deer antler scrappings from antlers gathered at noon on the day of the spring equinox, substitutes perfectly well for Giant Flying Bison hoof powder. It's surprising that Hogwarts doesn't have a large supply left over from the Herbology students' projects somewhere in the potions closet. There's not much call for it, and it keeps well. None of my business, I suppose.

10:41pm: jobberknoll post : Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and family, Lake Cottage, Hogsmeade
Dear Harry and Draco and all,

We wanted to congratulate you on the birth of your daughter who probably does not look at all like a seahorse any more than her brother does even though their gestation was more like a seahorse's than most. We are very grateful that you are producing the next generation so we don't have to Elle, what's the point of me writing this note if you won't let me say anything? Oh! look you, just try to be polite and keep it simple, all right? We're enclosing gifts for all of you because we know what it's like with a big family and all, you have to keep things even or there's the devil to pay and hope to see you soon,

Affectionately,

Elle Holloway and Charlie Weasley

*enclosed are three large plush seahorses and a notice of renewal of family membership to the London Magical Zoo*

11:16pm: Conversation at the Elephant and Castle, Westminster
Here, look at this perry stuff, it's like ale made from pears!

8:20pm: Conversation just outside the porlock enclosure, London Magical Zoo
Sir! Sir, excuse me, you can't go in there -

9:42pm: half-completed form in the middle of a pile of receipts on Charlie Weasley's desk
LONDON MAGICAL ZOO
New staff requisition form

Proposed post is _x_ new position ___ replacement for staffer ____________________

If replacing staffer, indicate here why staffer left:
:
:
:
:
:
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:
:

Proposed post is ___ permanent ___ temporary


Proposed post is at the level of _x_Assistant Zookeeper
___ Zookeeper
___ Assistant Researcher
___ Researcher
___ Clerical/Sales Associate
___ Other

Indicate here suggested starting salary range, with justification. Attach supporting documents if necessary.
:
:
:
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:

Proposed job description:

I don't know! Just someone to do most of the work with the public that I do, so I can spend more time with the dragons! Except I'm meant to be saying, so I can write up all the research I've already done, I think. So, say that. Let's see, what do I do all day that I don't want to do - answering floo calls and owls about people's pets, and feeding times during zoo hours, and all the chasing people away from the delicate creatures and the less delicate creatures at foaling time and hatching time, and pretty well all the kneazle care, much as I like them it's really not my speciality, and all the horn trimming for the smaller dragons, much as I like them they need to get used to other people sometime, and ordering feedstocks for the equinoids and meats for the dragons, all the paperwork in fact, and I know Elle would be happier if my hours were a sight more regular but I don't care so much about that, but then she does, and bloody hell, if I had the time to fill out this form properly I wouldn't need an assistant, would I? Maybe Madame Fishbein could -

9:33pm: Floo call to Neva House, Lake District
Er - hello?

11:13pm: jobberknoll post to Elle Holloway
Elle! I hope this doesn't wake you but I had to tell you that my brother Ron is home and he's here with us at the Three Broomsticks. He's here right now. He's here. I knew you'd want to know right away. He's here.

your Charlie

9:45pm: conversation in the Three Broomsticks
Look, it's my birthday, you should be buying, that's all I'm saying.

9:07am: jobberknoll post to Ginny Weasley
Dear Ginny please look after Elle's our flat for the next few days as we're off on holiday. I am taking Elle to We are going to Manitoba, in Canada, which Elle says has cows and other Muggle animals and a nice city with art in it. An international seagull will find us in case of emergency. Sorry about the short notice but Elle was quite annoyed with me this time so I have to I had to we decided to go away at the last moment. I hope you don't mind. It's just the usual. Elle's left a note about all the plants, the kneazles look after themselves more or less, and I've left all the rest off at the zoo. We'll be back on Tuesday after the Canadian holiday - did you know it's a holiday in Canada? The wards will let you in to the flat but we use a Muggle thing for the street door because there are Muggles on the street sometimes. If you don't know how to use it Dad can help, probably. Tell Percy we're sorry we didn't ask him but you know how he is about the kneazles. Elle said to mention that if the Prophet is still bothering you, nobody knows where our flat is so you'd be safe here. But I said you could look after yourself quite well anyway.

love your brother Charlie

p.s. Did you know that Muggles will give away monkeys to people in wheelchairs? Elle says they're meant for people who can't look after themselves with magic, you know, and it's insulting to even think of suggesting that she should get us one even though they are such lovely animals so we can't have one. Sometimes I see what Dad means about Muggles being very odd and interesting.

*along with the note, the jobberknoll clutches a medium-sized, old-fashioned iron key in its beak*

11:55pm: jobberknoll post to Dolores Umbridge, written on the back of a Three Broomsticks menu
Dear Professor---Madame -- D. Umbridge,

It was very nice-- interesting to meet you today. Thank you for offering me Hagrid's job the position teaching Care of Magical Creatures. Fortunately I already have a job so I can't take the post at Hogwarts.

Sincerely yours Charlie Weasley